Since you were elected in October I’ve seen you invite tens of thousands of refugees to come live in Canada to enjoy this beautiful country we call home! You have also extolled the grand virtues of diversity.
On behalf of the Canadian people I would like to invite you and Sophie to open your substantial homes to a few of these migrant families. Why should you be deprived of this great experience? Why should you personally not be enriched by the diversity you have gifted to the electorate? I understand your government is, in fact, focussing heavily on privately sponsored refugees at this time! Don’t miss out on your chance!
Imagine the great benefits this could have for your children – sharing all daily meals and other activities with completely new people from an entirely different culture indefinitely. Think about how great it would be for Sophie to have the companionship of several migrant mothers. She must be so overtaxed – raising 3 children as a stay at home mom with ONLY 2 full time nannies.
Imagine the joy of pure surprise as you discover upon their arrival who this family will be! The excitement as you invite complete strangers into your home and every aspect of your day to day life!
For months now you and your staff have assured us all that these folks are completely harmless; that their potential health issues are nothing to worry about. So why on earth would you deprive yourself of this amazing opportunity?
Ok – so you may end up having to give up your bedroom, perhaps a little more, who can tell, when you discover the family you’ve sponsored is much larger that you expected. You may discover that the small children who you envisioned playing with Xavier, Ella-Grace and Hadrien turn our to be rather brutish teenaged boys. It should be fairly easy to make sure nothing gets out of control; just a few days in your home and they will pick up on boundaries you are comfortable with. That is truly the joy of the experience. You’ll have an unfolding mystery in your midst every day, perhaps even permanently, as your new housemates won’t speak English or French. Since they aren’t under any obligation to learn you’ll get to work out a way to manage the thrilling challenges that emerge in each moment! The experience will only escalate if you’re lucky enough to get a few truly devout refugees; in that case you’ll never even see the faces of those people who will be sleeping in the next room.
It is possible that a member of your group ends up having a terrible communicable disease that wasn’t caught in time. But hey – that’s just part of the fun right? SARS and TB or other similar conditions have never really caused that much trouble for Canada. Or of course one refugee could be arriving with the intent to actually to do you and your family terrible harm. But as you’ve always pointed out – by including him or her in that should eradicate their malicious or deadly intent! It’s just that simple… Right?
Oh – I should mention – in order to make these folks feel more comfortable you will very likely have to give up some of the traditions your young family enjoys. The events and customs which you, Sophie and the kids look forward to, those fundamental elements, will be replaced with completely new ones. You get to live every single day in a brand new culture without having to set a foot outside your own front door!
In my excitement I nearly forgot to mention – in order to mitigate the extra costs involved in this adventure a significant number of your security detail will have to be pulled. Seriously though – you didn’t really need them after all. I mean you’re not in any more danger than your buddies Leo DiCaprio and Kevin Spacey. And never mind that – I’m sure if there’s any real trouble your buddy Barack can help out. After all, look how much he’s already done for you. He may be your only remaining ally; but he’s the leader of the free world and he’s gonna have all that power forever, right!?
I am so excited for you – you will get to be a part of the great Canadian experience with which the rest of us have been engaged! We all know that you love to roll up your sleeves and be hands-on. Time to charge up the smart-phone for a new round of arrival selfies (this time at your own house) and grab a great pair of super festive socks!!